Ethos?

Unfortunately, the new layout I chose for the blog doesn't allow me to use the same fancy colors that I did before... I'm sure there's a way to fix it, but I'm lazy... Really, really lazy.

Me: Whats in it for me?

Him: 20%... Of the tip of my penis.

Me: 100%.

...

Him: You drive a hard bargain.

Me: You drive a hard bargain!

I figured it'd be important to tell the few readers (one, maybe two) that follow us that we are happily married, despite our better judgement. We finally tied the knot on our two year anniversary and in all seriousness, I have to say, it was the best decision I've ever made. Mike is my best friend and I honestly could not be happier. I can't wait to see where our lives will take us, and the best part is we get to find out together. Yep... Enough of the mushy-mush crap... time for some recent funnies!

If I play video games on mute when I get home, will that keep you up?

I won't cuss.

Yes.

Oh.

You knew the answer to that.

You said another offensive thing in your sleep.

What did I say?

I put my arm around you and you informed me that we were moving too fast.

One of the neighborhood fucks left his train in the driveway.

I stole it.

You're horrible.

My dad said my insurance shouldn't be too much more since my rate went down.

Yeah, and you're married and a girl.

Looks like we have some haters in the audience today!

There actually won't be any crackin' out on video games at 2am in an apartment, either. If you want to fuck around, buy me a house.

What?!

Apartments are small and you're too intense with that shit.

You're not even pooping, you're just hanging out!

To do list: kill Karley

Shut up. Put that on your to do list.